Sit, even when it rains
In the last article of Hustle&Meditate, 'Dharma of the Middle-aged', I discussed moving through the Dharma some where beyond the intros and not quite Enlightened. If you subscribe to any traditional Buddhist schools of thought you know that's a rather wide gap.
In the course of promoting the newsletter I tweeted lines from it. Then, I posted screenshots of that tweet to Facebook and Instagram. The quote was "Meditation isn't always Instagram pics featuring stacked river rocks or white sandy beaches[...] In fact most of the time meditation is piss and blood and shit; regardless we sit".
I wasn't prepared for the response I received. Things like:
-"It also depends on what you are dealing with. If it is all that awful, you might consider a change in lifestyle."
-"Whoa! Hang it there! It gets better. Promise!"
The first seemed frankly dismissive. Over the last 9 years of social media for sport and 5 playing for points. I have had to learn to read, and reread if necessary, things with no voice and no inflection. Though I still get pissed at what people feel they can say to another, that’s another story, for another day.
Nonetheless that comment took a couple reads to shed what I thought was at least a slight.
Finally, I replied with "... we've simply sat through different experiences." There were a few others I found odd. The main surprise to me was how many people said things along the lines of "it's not that hard". I decided to take the question into our Discord. The question was "Who has sat through tough times? Can you share". Being Easter Sunday (yes, that even effects Buddhist online activities). I shared some of mine to kick it off.
Personally, I have sat through pregnancy scares, divorce scares, family drama, depression, pain. While there have been some really positive sessions I have ended more than a few sessions in tears. I don't mean faint and dainty tears, easily wiped away with a quick hand stroke.
On the contrary, I have ended sessions ugly crying. The kind of crying that makes the next few conversations noticeably uncomfortable for the other party. When you've been crying people want to ask "Are you okay" while also not getting caught in the tangle of your life. Society has its platitudes
JustMike, my fellow Discord Admin, and I discussed this and he made a good point. No one discusses this side. Meditation is so often presented as this wholesome, trouble-free state that is not as all pervading as some teachers and coaches would have you believe. He's right.
I think that's why I don't like Shetty, Chopra, and the like. Their style seems so... airbrushed, retouched, glossed over. There seems to be very little that matches my perspective. Not to say they are wrong they just don't live in the same world I do. Their perspective is entirely different than anything I know.
To my surprise there are some practitioners who haven't sat through negative events and experiences. I don't mean that in a prideful way, it just seemed natural to me to meditate about it or rather through it. Others simply don't have that experience. That’s not wrong, just different.
If I had to pick something that added the greatest depth to my personal practice it's been sitting when it's not all good. Meditating is like wrestling a bear sometimes, even when things are good. When the storms come, that's where the work is, where the learning is. Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.
I don't mean to belittle folks for responding as they did. They were responding from their own experiences. It was a learning experience for me.
The point I'm beginning to learn here is, what brought me to the cushion isn't what brought you. We are seperate, unique, and, 100%, valid. Your reason may never match mine and that's okay. There's no way to know exactly what the person on another mat is wrestling with.
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Their motivation, fear, pain, joy, happiness, all of it is theirs and composes an entirely different perspective. There is wisdom in that knowledge.
So to you who feel drawn to a fuller practice I say; Sit, even when it rains. Your practice will be all the richer for it.
